Deece.net

Wednesday What Is It?

2012-01-25T07:13:00.002+10:00

What is it?

Wednesday What Is It? Results

2012-01-25T07:02:00.002+10:00

The results of last week's WWII . . .

Cup of Coffee!

Jason, thank you for playing! I wish I could give you the points. But the rules are that I give you a small part of a picture of some object, and you tell me what you think the whole object is. But now that you've played one week, you know what to expect. So I hope you keep playing!

A Delicious Mess

2012-01-20T12:00:00.000+10:00

I set out to make two Oreo pies one evening. If you are going to make Oreo pies, be sure not to knock your bowl of crushed Oreo cookies off the counter so it lands upside down on your carpet.

Yes, learn from my fail. Do not do that. You don't want sticky, sugary cookie crumbs in your carpet. Nobody wants that. Plus, losing half of your crumbs means that you'll only be able to make one Oreo pie.

What should you do if you do end up with crushed Oreos in your carpet? All I can tell you is what I did. I improvised because I had already done most of the prep to fill two pies. I decided to make one Oreo and one coffee pie.

And let me tell you, they were great. I've been referring to these pies as Oreo and coffee pies. But they are so much better than their boring names suggest. They aren't cream pies and they aren't quite cream cheese pies - they are thick and creamy and rich and oh so flavorful. Their names don't do them justice and neither do these pictures. But Katelyn is pretty darn cute, isn't she?

Welcome to the Wednesday What Is It? Round 7

2012-01-18T07:00:00.000+10:00

What is it?

Here's how to play the WWII:

Each Wednesday I post a small part of a picture of some object. You tell me what you think the whole object is. You have until I post the results of that week's WWII to submit your guess by leaving a comment in the post.

I will post the results on the following Wednesday in the morning, around noontime, or in the evening. Sometimes I am late, but I will never be early. Note that the WWII is played on Saipan time (GMT+10).

Submit one guess per person; you may not change your guess - your first guess is your final guess. Please be specific. Don't guess, it's food; instead guess, it's a chocolate chip cookie. Anonymous guesses will not be accepted. Guesses are only accepted in the form of comments on this blog - guesses made on Facebook will not be accepted.

The first person with the correct answer will receive 5 points, all other correct answers earn 2 points. On the following Wednesday I'll post the answer along with the results, which are tracked in the sidebar.

The first person to 35 points wins something handmade by me. I'll mail it to you if you live off island.

Let's play!

The Great Divide

2012-01-14T21:30:00.000+10:00

About two years ago, when my daughter was four and my niece was eight, they sat at our dining table with their ipod shuffles plugged into both sides of the laptop as they they traded songs. My niece, Mele, played songs off of Katelyn's ipod, and every time she started a new song, this exchange took place:

Katelyn: I like this song! Can I have it?
Mele: This is your ipod, Katelyn.

I don't own an ipod. I'm holding out for an ipad. That's my excuse, at least.
~~~

Some time ago, my sister's laptop was on our dining table when I came downstairs one evening. It was open, but the screen was blank. It appeard to be off, so I closed it. My mother saw me and said, "Ai! Your sister is unloading! Maybe you ruined it. She was unloading."

I wonder what she was unloading. Her burdens? Hopes and dreams? Ancient artifacts?
~~~

My mother knows how to check her bank account online. And by that, I mean she knows how to look at the screen and reconcile the transactions to her checkbook after I've pulled up her bank's website and logged her into her account.

Anytime she wants to take a look at her account activity, she asks me to "access it out".
~~~

I picked up my nephew the other day and I put him in charge of shuffling through the songs on my Zune during our ride home.

Rage Against the Machine came on after a Ben Harper song that I specifically requested he not skip over. As my head nodded and dipped to the bass line of Killing in the Name Of, he picked up the Zune and start looking through the titles. I asked him if he was familiar with any Rage songs. He wasn't. I hoped he would just place the Zune back down in the center console and allow himself to enjoy the unfamiliar. He did place the Zune down. And then? Nickleback.

Oh my gosh! Why do I even have Nickleback?
~~~

My son had a dream last night that the baby was born and it was a girl. I wonder how many more major changes will take place in the world by the time this baby turns five.

Baby will be seven years younger than Katelyn - the same age difference as me and my sister. Baby will also be five years younger than Jacob - the same age difference as James and his next oldest brother. Boy or girl? Whatever the Lord wants. I tell you what, though, my instinct is saying girl. We'll see.

This is me at 19 weeks (please excuse the shadows under my eyes; I wasn't tired, I had just washed my face and my mascara and eyeliner smudged):

Two Things

2012-01-12T09:30:00.000+10:00

I asked for two things for Christmas: 1) The Twilight Graphic Novel Volume 2, and 2) A Revlon brand cuticle nipper.

That's all. Just two little things. I would have warmly welcomed an iPad or tablet, or a Kindle Fire. But I'm a realist, and if James spent that kind of money on me, it would mean that our family budget would be reduced by that much. Besides, I already spent enough of our family budget when I bought his Christmas and birthday gifts - a telescope and ipod touch, respectively.

So imagine my sadness when James declared that he couldn't find a Revlon brand cuticle nipper at any of the stores I suggested. Can you believe it? Not one on this whole island. I can believe it.

Now, image my sadness when he then declared that, as of Christmas Eve, my other gift, the Twilight Graphic Novel, still hadn't arrived.

Well, the truth is, I wasn't sad.

He made a great effort to locate the nippers and I knew good and well that the book was on it's way. But he so lovingly wanted to make sure I had a gift to open on Christmas morning, so on December 24th, he took the kids out to buy me a consolation Christmas gift of various fabrics and the encyclopedia of sewing. He is so thoughtful.

Guess what? It arrived!

Food!

2012-01-07T23:30:00.000+10:00

I like to eat. And I sometimes like to cook.

If what I cook looks good to you, you can cook it too. I tend not to follow recipes; instead, I create to taste using whatever ingredients I have on hand. Sometimes I loosely follow directions, more often, I cook how I feel.

Soups
Soups are magical. With soups, you can combine any variety of your favorite flavors. Soups are fairly simple to create and they are pretty difficult to ruin. I almost never add potatoes to my soups. I don't like potatoes, but I imagine you can very easily add them to nearly any brothy soup.

Egg Drop Crab and Corn Soup - Very, very semi-homemade. Takes only minutes to prepare and cook. My kids love it.

Gyoza And Vegetable - So comforting and so easy to prepare. Perfect any time or when you're feeling down and you don't feel like chicken soup.

Pumpkin Soup - I love when pumpkins are in season on Saipan. I could eat some form of pumpkin every day. I never tire of this silky savory soup.

Split Pea with Chicken - This soup, no matter what ingredients are added to it, always envokes tender memories of my father. This time, I used chicken.

Split Pea with Zucchini - I used yellow and green peas in this one.

Yellow Split Pea Soup with Pasta - An image to inspire. Please see the split pea recipes above for more of an idea of how I made this.

Zucchini and Edamame and Vegetable Tumeric - Both links will take you to the same post. These soups were total experiments and I welcome you to take the basic idea for the soups and enhance them, or as my mother says, "doctor it up". While these are not my best soups, they were not bad and I decided to include them here to show you that you can make soup from nearly anything you have in your kitchen.

Entrees
Don't be afraid to dive right in. Once I really understood that, I felt like I could take on the whole grocery store. Yes, you can ruin entrees - they are not as forgiving as soups, but they are forgiving, and you won't get better if you don't try. So look in your pantry and get cooking!

Baked Chicken with Easy Gravy - Succulent and simple. I don't bake main dishes very often because of the outrageous electric rates on Saipan, but if you need a dish that you can throw in the oven while you take care of some other task, this is that dish. It's easier than meatloaf.

Chicken Salad Sandwich - A simple and quick way to use leftover chicken. I really like that this can be spiced in many different ways. And if you only have a little bit of chicken, this is perfect for a single serving meal.

Coconut Curry Ribs - Rich and creamy curry made with coconut milk. Follow the link for the recipe.

Corned Beef Hash on Rice with an Egg - An image to inspire. A great breakfast for Saipan. Saute garlic first then add onions and saute until translucent, then add the corned beef hash. Cook and occasionally stir so that bits and pieces caramelize.

Creamy Pasta with Brussel Sprouts - This isn't much of a recipe, it is more like an image to inspire. You could make your own cream sauce for this or use one from the store.

Curry with Pumpkin - I love Japanese style curry. This particular time it turned out watery, perhaps because of the vegetables I used - I will update with another curry post sometime. Curry is a fun dish to make. It's fairly easy and you can experiment with nearly any vegetable - cauliflower, broccoli, pumpkin, potato, onion, carrot . . . I think that heartier vegetables work best.

Garlic Ginger Beef with Snow Peas - Do you like fresh ginger as much as I do? This garlic and ginger beef is savory and comforting with a lovely crunch from the snow peas.

Hamburger Casserole - If you can brown ground beef and boil macaroni, you got yourself a meal! (I'm sorry no picture for now.)

Kang Kung and Beef with Onions - Savory, tender beef and onions with oyster sauce. Quite delicious.

Meatloaf - This is probably the most basic meatloaf there is. I have since made it with different seasonings, including a packet of Lipton french onion soup seasoning - it all depends on what I have on hand and how I feel at the time. (I'm sorry, no picture for now.)

Pan Fried Pork Chop with Tomato Cucumber Salad - Another image to inspire. The pork chop is pan fried. I find that keeping it covered during most of the cooking process keeps it moist, but don't keep it covered the whole time, because a little bit of crispiness on the outside makes it tastier. The salad is tomato, cucumber, cilantro, onion, vinegar, oil, and salt and pepper, and perhaps some italian seasoning - I don't remember.

Pasta with Spinach - If your kids like spaghetti, this is a great way to introduce them to spinach. (I'm sorry no picture for now.)

Penne Pasta and Chicken Bake - Semi-homemade makes it so much easier. This is a simple and tasty meal in one dish. If your kids like pasta, cheese, and chicken tenders, this dish will make them happy. (I'm sorry no picture for now.)

Ravioli and Zucchini Ribbons with Garlic Butter Sauce - So easy and so delicious. Semi-homemade using frozen ravioli. I would like to try this again but with roasted garlic.

Salmon Patties - They were good, but they could be even better. This recipe gives you an idea of how to throw ingredients together and have a good meal. I admit, I haven't made them since this post, but I do think about making them every few months. (I'm sorry no picture for now.)

Spinach and Basil Macaroni - The preparation is fairly simple and you could use any type of pasta you desire. The "recipe" lists the use of olive oil in several steps - I think that could be cut down by adding olive oil first during the blender step. (I'm sorry no picture for now.)

Steak and Zucchini - Delicious and beauiful! If you aren't familiar with how to cook a steak to your liking (I prefer medium rare), I suggest you turn to Chef Google for some guidance, because a properly cooked steak makes all the difference.

Appetizers and Sides
A pleasant appetizer and a flavorful side with choice vegetables completes a delicious meal.

Asparagus and Cherry Tomatoes - I love fresh asparagus. I don't know what it costs in the mainland, but on Saipan, asparagus is not an everyday vegetable. This dish pairs rich asparagus with the bright sweet flavor of fresh cherry tomatoes.

Coleslaw - I enjoy a good coleslaw. It is unfortunate that I haven't tasted too many good coleslaws. This is a good coleslaw.

Fried Zucchini - Flour, egg wash, seasoned flour, fry. Ranch sauce. Yum!

Roasted Zucchini and Carrots - So flavorful! A great side to go with the Baked Chicken with Easy Gravy.

Desserts
I don't post dessert recipes often. I do make lots of desserts, but most of those recipes are top secret. Sorry.

Dessert Pizza - These are a treat for everyone! They are sweet and tangy and topped with your favorite fresh fruit. You can do the semi-homemade version by using store-bought cookie dough.

Homemade Ice Cream Cake - An experiment in my dessert assemblage abilities. No guidance, just an idea. And it worked! I made this for my son's third birthday.

Spectacular Bananas - When all you have are bananas, canned whipped cream, peanut butter, and chocolate syrup. Warm, cool, crisp, soft. This is a winner for any kid (or grown-up kid) who likes bananas and sugar.

~~~~~

There you have it. I'll continue to update this page as I post more "recipes" on Deece.net. You can always find this page if you click on the Food! link toward the top of the page.

Please allow me to bid you farewell with a princess birthday cake I made for Katelyn's 4th birthday.

New To Me

2012-01-03T20:30:00.000+10:00

Happy New Year, friends! This was our last new year's celebration as a family of four. This time next year, we'll have a new baby in the family.

I can't upload my new year's pictures just yet, but once I am able to, I'll share a few of the pictures of our glorious morning on the beach.
~~~

Would you believe that December 27, 2011, was the first time I ever made blueberry pancakes? It's true. I've made plenty of banana pancakes and nearly as many apple cinnamon pancakes, I have made pumpkin spice pancakes, and I may have even made strawberry pancakes, but not blueberry. Until now.

Fresh blueberries are out of the question for me on Saipan. I could fill my family on rib eye steak for the price of one tiny basket of blueberries. So instead, I buy frozen blueberries every now and then.

Homemade blueberry pancakes with fresh whipped cream and local bananas. Now that's a Christmas vacation breakfast.

ETA (1/7/12): I was wrong. I just realized I have made blueberry pancakes before. But they weren't nearly as good as these.

Lovely, I tell you.

2011-12-29T13:38:00.000+10:00

I hope your Christmas was as lovely as ours was. This very well may have been our most stress free Christmas ever. Lovely, I tell you.

I didn't cook. I didn't bake. I didn't clean - okay, maybe I tidied up a bit and also did the dishes once or twice. The only thing that could have possibly added to the day would have been taking a nap. Alas, my children are six and four, that means I don't nap. Ever.

Santa brought Jacob a new bike and helmet!

And mom and dad gave Katelyn an Easy Bake Oven! She'll have full control over desserts once the baby arrives. This is Katelyn preparing to remove her red velvet cupcakes from the Easy Bake (notice the potholder made from her new loom; notice, also, the photo-bombing little brother).

Merry Christmas, my friends. 2012 is three days away. And thank goodness, because I'll finally be able to give my husband his birthday gift. I'm getting tired of pretending like I still don't know what to get him.

The Truth

2011-12-21T23:00:00.000+10:00

My daughter knows the truth about Christmas. And the truth about Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. My son knows the truth about Christmas. But he is still waiting for Santa to stop in on Christmas eve.

We try to emphasize that Christmas is first about the birth of Christ. We talk about how the presents are a way for us to remember the gift of salvation that Jesus Christ gave us by giving himself for us, and how the presents help us to be more giving as we select and make gifts for others, and they are also a way to celebrate Christ's birth, but instead of handing gifts over to Jesus, we give them to each other. We try. But I think we still have a ways to go.

We are American and, let's face it, a HUGE part of Christmas in America (and it's territories and protectorates) is gifts. And every holiday season, my children are inundated with advertisements for this that and the other gift.

My son said to me the other day, "there's a buy one get one free sale at Macy's hardware."

There is no Macy's on Saipan.

I think we need to put the kibosh on the TV.

Merry Christmas, my friends.

Homework Time

2011-12-16T11:00:00.000+10:00

Have you ever helped a 4-year old, a first grader, a second grader, and a fifth grader with their homework all at once?

How do I put this?

Oh right:

Just over two weeks of Christmas break begins this afternoon. Woo hoo!

Just Remember

2011-12-14T23:40:00.000+10:00

Here's the thing, I'm not very quick at witty comebacks and I'm not very good at spontaneous debates. But I don't really care to become skilled at quick and witty comebacks - I just don't care to be that person. But if you are that person, hey, good for you, you'd probably beat me in a debate.

Here's another thing, I am not easily impressed by position or status. I don't really care where we rank against each other. Sure, some things, maybe many things, that you may have accomplished in your life might impress me - the lives you saved, the degree you earned and how you earned it, your creative invention - but, in general, I am not impressed by people. If the president of the United States showed up at my door, I'd be equally as socially awkward with him as I am with the cashier at Joeten.

So if I stumble over my words or refuse to match your crescendo as you attempt to establish your dominance, know that it is not because of intimidation. If I don't reply to your snide comment, it's more likely because I am unimpressed.

Tiny Tannenbaum

2011-12-10T22:05:00.001+10:00

I didn't want a big tree. But I could tell my mother did. I didn't want a fresh tree because they aren't sold in in mini sizes. But I know my mother prefers fresh.

One of the benefits of a fresh tree - perhaps the main benefit, is that beautiful wintery pine smell. But when you live in the tropics and your windows are open all day, you really only get to enjoy that lovely winter scent in the mornings once you wake and before you begin to open up the house. And that's also when the air is at its coolest, so you can make believe that you live somewhere where it isn't 87 degrees in the "winter".

Our house is spacious enough for an average size Christmas tree. But I'm pregnant enough to not want one.

It came pre-lit, but I added one more strand. I hung the gold garland and ribbon and the children hung the ornaments; we went with red and gold because that is we what have. I couldn't be happier with our tiny tree.

Perhaps the ribbon is a bit out of proportion. I suppose there should be one thing that's a bit off, aye?

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, friends.

Mambo Number Three

2011-12-08T15:00:00.000+10:00

I haven't yet apologized for my lack of posts in recent months, nor for the barrage of lame posts that followed. I sincerely apologize for both.

I cut my hair folks, and I don't care that it's not flattering.

I hardly ever wear makeup anymore - and it doesn't bother me much.

My shoes are not cute, my clothes are frumpy.

I'm getting fat.

~~~

I love that Katelyn and Jacob are almost exactly two years apart. They have been fighting a lot more lately, but I also see how they depend on each other.

James and I had originally hoped for four kids, two years apart. But several years ago I accepted the idea that we would have only two children. The two perfect children that we already have. God has given us a girl and a boy, we are blessed.

And now the Lord has seen fit to bless us with another little one. Baby number three is due in early June 2012.

Oh, the agony!

2011-12-06T20:43:00.001+10:00

Every year around this time, I agonize about what gifts to give my husband for Christmas and his birthday one week later. And every year, I either choose something lame or something that he had to tell me he wanted. I feel like I am not creative enough to choose good, witty, needed gifts without his assistance. But not this year people!

I ordered his Christmas gift a week or so ago and it's something I know he wants, but hasn't yet bought for himself. And for his birthday, it's not something he's hinted at, but I think he'll enjoy it nonetheless. I just really hope it arrives in time.

But here's the smart part: I continue to pretend like I don't know what to get him. Genius! Unless he reads this post. He currently thinks I'm clueless and may be considering purchasing him books.

Do you have trouble picking out a gift for your honey?

What is it about my feet?!

2011-12-02T07:30:00.000+10:00

So there's this dog that often sleeps outside our front door. He is my niece's dog. He protects their house and ours as well. He is little and fierce. He attacks anything that breathes. The other night he was going after a frog that was holed up inside a toy Hummer in our yard.

Like many other dogs, this dog likes to chew. He chews on sticks, he chews on rags, he even chews on senko! But worst of all he likes to chew on zories! (Zories, my stateside friends, are what you might call flip flops.) And he really likes mine! Of all the pairs of zories he's destroyed, I can say with confidence that at least fifty percent of them were mine.

~~~

I actually wore these to work one day. And then I got called into a meeting. With legislators.

What hole?

2011-11-29T14:00:00.000+10:00

Why are they called doughnut holes? Aren't doughnut holes non-existent?

These are more like doughnut balls.

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends.

2011-11-25T12:34:00.001+10:00

I didn't do much this Thanksgiving. But one thing I did do was make a fabulous homemade cranberry sauce! I had never tasted a homemade cranberry sauce before, but all the ones I've seen on TV seemed very saucy; not like the jellied sauces that you buy in cans. And I wondered whether I'd like the sauciness. So I couldn't resist when I saw a bag a fresh cranberries at Joeten on Thanksgiving morning.

One 12-oz bag of fresh cranberries
A little more than one cup of water
A little more than one cup of sugar
Bring to a low boil, cook stirring occasionally until the skins pop and until it's where you want it

It didn't turn out saucy at all. I think that's because I started eating a sandwich while it was boiling and I maybe sort of forgot about it for a couple of minutes. But I really like it jellied. Maybe next Thanksgiving I'll make a saucy one.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

Lemmai have it!

2011-11-21T15:32:00.000+10:00

Mmmm . . . breadfruit cooked in coconut milk. I could eat it everyday.

Lemmai, bbq ribs, koko. That's all I need.

This is madness!

2011-11-18T13:00:00.000+10:00

I am not a potato lover.

I only eat the really soggy fries and I don't eat the potatoes in the potato salad. I don't like mashed potatoes, even with gravy. The only time I really ever eat (and enjoy) potatoes are when they are in the form of well seasoned hash browns mixed with over easy eggs - also known as potatoes and eggs.

I don't know what happened, but I decided to eat tater tots for lunch the other day. Just tater tots and ketchup. And they were good.

Three-Oh!

2011-11-15T22:30:00.000+10:00

Thirty years ago a 9lb bald baby girl was born in California.

Approximately twenty five years ago that same baby, who was then five years old (I'm purdy good at math), moved with her family from her father's home (California) to her mother's home (Saipan).

Twenty years ago my father bought be my first pair of roller blades. (At least I'm pretty sure it was 20 years ago.)

Fifteen years ago I was one year away from getting my braces off and graduating from high school.

Ten years ago I met my future husband. (It's actually more like 11 years ago, but let's just go with this.)

Five years ago I had one baby and another baby on the way.

And today I am thirty.

Look In Your Jars

2011-11-13T13:00:00.000+10:00

You know that person in your family who has a piece of No.2 pencil lead stuck in their hand from some freak elementary school hand stabbing? I have two such people. My sister and my husband. My sister has a piece stuck in her finger and my husband has a piece stuck in his palm.

What is it they say when you get a splinter that is entirely under your skin and you aren't able to squeeze it out? Oh that's right, "Don't worry, your body will push it out on it's own". But unlike the bone fragment left by my upper right wisdom tooth extraction, those pieces of graphite were not pushed out on their own. And neither was the tip of the glass stalagmite that stabbed my thumb a week ago.

I was transferring small jars from their box to the sink in order to wash and then sterilize them. I inserted my thumb into one of the small jars and dagnabbit! That little sucker stabbed me! It was bleeding, it was painful, it was terrible. And although I insisted that there was a piece splintered in my thumb, neither James nor I could squeeze it out. Maybe it wasn't there.

Wrong! It was there. It was there for a whole eight days. I didn't know what to do. Would my body push it out on it's own - when, in a month, in ten years? Should I waste money to go to a doctor so he/she could extract an invisible splinter? Would I be left to suffer like my sister and husband with a piece of glass stuck in my thumb for the rest of my life? How would I knit?! It was glass. In my thumb! And it hurt.

Well, I couldn't stand it anymore. On Saturday I pulled out the alcohol - the rubbing alcohol, people - a quilters pin, and a nail clipper and dug that baby out myself. It made me very queasy, digging out a piece of clear glass from my thumb. I wasn't even sure if I was in the right spot - how deep was that thing?! It was in pretty deep and I was afraid that if I did it wrong I'd end up pushing it in further. Ugh! It wasn't pleasant, but I finally got that stupid stalagmite spear out. It was gross. And pretty cool.

Remember Me

2011-11-11T19:19:00.001+10:00

Do you ever want to write a memoir? I . . . I want to write something, I'm just not sure I'm suited to write a memoir. I mean, really, who would want to read about an Irish-Chamolinian who grew up on a tropical island so small that it isn't even drawn on most maps? I mean, really, no one wants to read about the time my cousins stayed the evening with me and my sister so my parents could go out to an event and we got so spooked by a mysterious knocking on the living room window that we called the police. And, yes, the police came to our house.

Well, isn't that what this blog really is anyway. A series of poorly written stories about my life. A memoir, if you will.

Hallowhat?

2011-10-28T19:17:00.002+10:00

It's October 28 and we don't have any costumes in our house, we don't even have a pumpkin. Halloween doesn't appear to be happening at our home this year, and frankly, friends, I'm quite happy about it.

Let's skip ahead to November. I'm not sure that we're even going to have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner next month. And I'm okay with that. The only thing I'm really looking forward to next month is the premiere of Breaking Dawn. Oh right, and my 30th birthday, I guess.

My Favorite Pen

2011-09-14T17:30:00.000+10:00

PSA

2011-09-05T21:17:00.000+10:00

I freak out sometimes. I freak out sometimes quite often.

I freak out about things like my children choking, my children falling and breaking a bone, my children falling and getting a gash - do you see the recurring theme?

If you freak out like I do, please enjoy the following PSA. If you don't freak out like I do, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that there is a risk in everything and education is the best prevention and now the bunny hangs in the butcher shop?

A PSA: Pass the Scissors Appropriately

When passing the scissors, one should always hold the scissors by the (closed!) blade side, rather than the handle side. This is done to ensure that the passer does not stab the receiver or himself/herself should he/she stumble and fall mid-pass. If misfortune would have it that the passer was to, in fact, stumble and fall mid-pass, one would hope that he/she would have the quick wit to toss the scissors. But if he/she did not toss the scissors and reached complete fall with scissors in hand, the hope is that the scissors will only hurt his/her hand and not any other part of the body which, if injured, would lend to more severe complications.

Not only does it protect all parties involved, but because it protects all parties, it also says to the receiver, "I care about you, I care about you enough to risk hurting my hand to pass these scissors to you."

Always Pass the Scissors Appropriately!

Guilty!

2011-08-29T23:40:00.001+10:00

I was craving chocolate ice cream some weeks ago so I asked my mother to pick up some on her way. Apparently, we have differing views on what constitutes good ice cream. Or perhaps she does know what good ice cream is, but she just chose not to buy it so I wouldn't ask her to buy ice cream anymore. Yes, let's go with that. She brought a box of this terrible watered down chocolate ice cream. And as much as I didn't enjoy it, I kept eating it. And it didn't satisfy my craving at all. But I didn't want to just throw it out. So I kept eating it. Until one day it was finished - don't worry, I wasn't the only one who ate it. But every time I ate it, I didn't enjoy it one bit. I kept forcing it down just so I wouldn't feel guilty about throwing it out, and instead, I felt guilty about eating those empty calories that I didn't even enjoy. What nonsense I am.

And here's the kicker, a few days after we finished the box, I went out and bought some good ice cream. This "good" ice cream must have melted and re-froze before I bought it because when I opened it, it had all these big ice crystals throughout and was terrible! My good ice cream was bad ice cream.

Cheese ice cream?! I'm kidding right?

No, friends, I do not jest about ice cream. My friend shared this at the office; it was a first for us all. The ice cream itself tasted like coconut, but the little cheese bits tasted like cheese bits. And that takes some getting used to.

After the Sunset

2011-08-24T23:12:00.002+10:00

I overheard my daughter say to her brother after they were sent into the hall, "at least we're here together."

Her sincere words of appreciation for the comfort of her younger brother warmed my heart.

I hope they will always see the blessing that each one is to the other.

(Photos were taken at dusk on August 19, 2011 from our bedroom balcony. God is so gracious.)

Homework and Dance Parties

2011-08-11T23:45:00.001+10:00

Katelyn's first day of first grade went fantastically well. Tomorrow will be her last day of her first week of first grade.

Did you know that first graders have homework? Katelyn had homework on her first day. What is that about? Isn't there some rule that says nothing happens on the first day and if your professor is 15 minutes late class is cancelled? No? That's just college? What? That rule doesn't even exist in college?

How do you handle homework? I want to let Katelyn get home and have a break before she does her homework - let her take a break from academics and have some good family or alone time, maybe even take her shower and have dinner first. By my own unsupported research I think this allows her homework to really stick with her and better reinforce her school lessons. Katelyn has hula class twice a week and on those days she gets home at just after 5 p.m. There really isn't time to worry about schedule on those days. As soon as she gets home she takes her shower then has dinner, does her homework, and preps for and goes to bed. If I continue this pattern, will I be setting her up to be an ever better procrastinator than me?

This morning when I woke her up, Katelyn said to me, "I had a fun dream; I dreamed I had a dance party." A few minutes later as she stood in front of the bathroom sink, stretching and gaining composure to brush her teeth, she looked at me through the mirror and said, "I'm still dizzy from my dance party."

Yesterday and Tomorrow

2011-08-07T23:19:00.001+10:00

Katelyn lost another tooth last Tuesday. Her fifth to be collected by the tooth fairy. Except she already knows we are the tooth fairy and so she didn't even bother to put it under her pillow. She put the tiny incisor in a ring box and for fear of crushing it, she put the box on the nightstand.

It is Sunday night and my children are sound asleep. In the morning, Katelyn will enter the first grade. There is a sorrow that sits in my chest, it surrounds my heart and weighs heavy on my soul. I don't ever want to hold either of my children back, I don't want to get in their way or slow them down, but I long to go back. I want to go back and start over, when their words were slow and choppy and they toddled on wobbly legs with ever increasing momentum. I want to go back so that I could have been the one who sounded out new words with them and held their hands above their heads and encouraged them to take a few more steps. I had the evenings - I have the evenings, the all too short evenings, the weekends, the holidays. I also have the stress and fatigue that comes with those outside pressures.

There is no doubt that where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be, I trust completely in God's plan for our lives - I may not understand it, and sometimes I feel like I don't always like it, but I do trust it. And tomorrow my daughter begins another leg of her adventure, her story, her plan. I want to be, at once, her mother and her friend. But her friend as her peer, as a six year old. I want to know what it would be like to experience that friendship with her. To giggle and share secrets. To comfort her and laugh with her. To live in a world that we create from imagination. I hope that I can be both her mother and her friend. But I will always be her mother first. And there will always be a part of me that longs to have that time returned to us. Time passes too quickly for me. Another minute passes and they've grown another inch, mastered another word, perfected another movement.

I don't know where I'm going with this; I just keep typing and deleting cliches. It's getting too sappy, isn't it? My first born is starting first grade tomorrow. I love her so much.

My dear Katelyn, may the Lord grant you wisdom and blessings beyond measure.

Coleslaw: A Recipe

2011-07-24T07:00:00.001+10:00

I really love this coleslaw. I hope you enjoy it too.

Chopped cabbage, grated carrots, raisins.

Dressing:

mayo
honey
vinegar
paprika
all spice
black pepper
salt
garlic powder

Now that's what I call money laundering!

2011-07-21T07:00:00.000+10:00

Don't you wish you could find $70 dollars in your washing machine every time you did the laundry?

Muffin Bottoms Crayons

2011-07-18T07:00:00.000+10:00

Many other craftier, more organized mom bloggers have already posted the whole recycle-your-crayons thing, but I'm going to post it anyway because this was our first time doing it.

And if I was craftier, or maybe just more willing to buy things I will hardly every use, we might have been able to make these in cool heart or star shaped tins. But I don't have cool shaped tins, just regular old muffin tins (and really, I don't even have my own muffin tins, I had to use my sister's muffin tin...and I used her oven as well). So that's what we made: Muffin Bottom Crayons.

My daughter and my niece spent quite a while peeling and breaking perfectly good crayons. Except for that purple one down there, that doesn't look perfect, does it? Ah, but that's what makes it beautiful.

With all the other how-tos out there, you'd think I would have followed some instructions. All I knew is that you break up the crayons and stick them in the oven. I sprayed the muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray before we put in the broken crayons. I was hoping this would help with the removal of the final product from the individual muffin tins. I can't tell whether or not it worked.

We stuck the muffin tray in the oven and waited to see what would turn out. But because I was also working on another project over at my house, I was impatient and moved the temperature up from its starting point at 325 to about 400. That got them all nice and melted right quick. Once they all looked liquified, I took the tray out of the oven and let it cool on the counter.

A couple hours later when I had time to check on them, they were all nice and solidified. So I turned the muffin tin upside down and dropped it on the counter. Nothing. So I banged it again. And again. And again. All the crayon muffin bottoms eventually fell out of the pan. Except for one. I had to break out a steak knife for that one.

The Ultimate

2011-07-15T07:00:00.000+10:00

I admit that I overuse the word awesome, and I fully admit that I use the word suck like a teenager uses like. But ultimate? I don't throw ultimate around for just anything.

Friends, I have literally found the ultimate fish sticks. Literally because that's their name - The Ultimate Fish Stick. And literally because they are the flippin' ultimate fish sticks! They are bigger and meatier with less breading than other wimpy fish sticks. They get crunchy outside, but are still tender inside.

I will never buy another brand of fish stick. Unless, of course, Trident comes out with a Super Ultimate Fishstick. But that would be so awesome that it'd probably cause a glitch in the matrix. Which would shatter reality and cause the fish sticks to disappear, at which point I would realize that there never was a reality in the first place, and that would mean there never was an ultimate fish stick. And that would just suck.

These are so good that I buy a new bag before the old bag even runs out. I don't want to live in an ultimate fish stick-less house. I like them best as plain old fish sticks, but they're also great in fish tacos.

If Only It Could Be This Way Everyday

2011-07-12T07:00:00.010+10:00

Oh nothing, just ate some fresh black cherries is all.

I have incredibly fond childhood summer memories of sitting by the edge of my cousin's kitchen sink in Tacoma, Washington eating black cherries by the crate. In my dream world the only fruits are cherries and mangoes.

If Only

2011-07-09T06:00:00.000+10:00

Has anyone else on Saipan noticed how unusually humid it's been lately? It's so humid it feels like I'm breathing in hot mist. My favorite mist forms on those really hot days just after a heavy rain when the intense tropical sun shines straight down on the asphalt steaming the pooled water right back into the sky. I love that mist. I love when it happens while it's still raining.

It is summer and unfortunately for my household, I am not one of those special people whom we call teachers who are able to spend their summers as they please. No, for me, and maybe you too, the summer is no different from any other time of the year. I think that it wasn't until sometime in high school when I finally realized that not everyone had the summers off.

I wish I could stay home with my children this summer and take them to the park to fly kites and to the beach to wade in the shallow warm water and chase down little crabs. I would have them help me make our meals and tend the garden, you know, the garden that I've neglected for the last year. We would sing and sew and paint and read. We would talk about life and talk about God. If only, right?

Happy summer, friends.

My Jello Gives Independence Day a Whole New Meaning

2011-07-06T00:28:00.001+10:00

In lieu of making a patriotic themed dessert for our Independence/Liberation Day celebration, I just planned to have the kids roast marshmallows.

We did not roast marshmallows and I did attempt a patriotic dessert. Although it tasted good, it wasn't easily recognizable as being patriotic in nature. Red ~~White~~ Yellow and Blue Jello!

But the layers mixed a bit so we also also had a layer of green and a slight layer of orange. It looks more like we were celebrating gay pride day. I should have used whipped cream.

The Saipan Liberation "Carnival" is going on until the 10th. Or so I heard. We took the kids there this evening after work for one last hurrah.

It was nearly a ghost town when we arrived at about 5:45 p.m. The rides were only just being uncovered and wiped down and a few booths were setting up, but most booths were empty. We waited around for a while and once the ticket booth opened we bought tickets for the bumper cars. The very cool laser tag bumper cars, that is!

Even though Katelyn could barely see over the wheel, she drove our car and I manned the gun and James drove their car while Jacob manned their gun. I don't even remember who won. All I know is it was fun! Especially since we had the whole track to ourselves!

I was so glad there was this game booth this year! Yes, this one game booth. Whatever, the kids had a blast!

Happy Independence Day USA!

I am not ashamed

2011-07-02T14:00:00.049+10:00

My dear friend Mona said that if I visit her in Seattle, she'll drive me to Forks. And let me tell you, I would let her.

I don't like vampires, but I do like teenage drama. Scratch that. I don't like traditional vampires, but I do like the Cullen's and I really like teenage drama. Like 16 And Pregnant? Flippin love it. Keeps me young. Because, apparently, although I AM STILL NOT 30, I am pretty old to people under 25.

You know what else I am? A Twi-Hard. I am a Twi-Hard and I'm not ashamed. What I'm showing you today, friends, is not some Hoarders-Buried-Alive-Extreme-Couponing-in-the-closet type of reveal. No, friends. From the moment I realized I loved it, I was totally open with my near-obsession.

Yes, that is the graphic novel that I own. It keeps me young.

Have a happy and safe 4th of July, friends!

The worst. The WORST!

2011-06-28T22:29:00.000+10:00

I don't know about you, but I loathe Mondays.

Monday is the worst day of the week. Tuesday is better because it's not Monday. Wednesday is okay because it's the middle of the work week and I feel like I've accomplished something and it sort of lights a fire under my tail because it means I only have Thursday and Friday left. Thursdays are a breath of fresh air because the next day is Friday! (Thursday always carries an exclamation mark.) Friday is the best work day because, hello, it's Friday!

The weekend is the best, isn't it? I mean, sure, Sunday is better than Saturday, but weekend is weekend right? (All you people who work on weekends, don't spoil this for me - the weekend. is. the. best.)

I have a friend who gets a bad case of the Mondays that starts every Sunday evening. I'm so glad that my case of Mondays doesn't begin until Monday.

I didn't always hate Mondays. In fact, I think my disdain for that wretched day only started about a month ago. And this, that coffee down there that I'm holding - that is how I get through Mondays. How about you?

The Impossible Dream

2011-06-09T20:23:00.003+10:00

Yes, I straight up gave my kids water and food dye and let them have at it. Yes, we have carpeted floors.
Yes, I was kind of freaking out.

But they had such a good time. And I enjoyed watching learn about mixing liquids and colors so much that even if they had spilled an entire tub of it on the floor, I don't think I would have been upset one bit. In fact, I might have even welcomed it. That might just have been the kind of motivation we needed to finally get around to pulling out the carpet. Hmmm....I think I need to go get some more food dye.

In my dream world, James and I would be able to hang out with the kids like this all the time 'stead of busting our tails every weekday working for the man. You know, the man who issues our paychecks so we can have nice days like this.

And in my dream world, the only fruits are cherries and mangoes, coffee flows through the tap, chocolate mints appear on my pillow each night, and every two hours we all break out in song and dance. So, sadly, my dream world will always remain a dream.

You can thank me later.

2011-06-01T22:16:00.000+10:00

Semi-Homemade: Ravioli and Zucchini Ribbons in Garlic Butter Sauce

Frozen Ravioli - cook according to package directions. Do this while you prepare the rest of the dish, try to time it so the ravioli and the sauce are ready at the same time. But if not, it's better to have the sauce ready first. You don't want your ravioli waiting around and drying out or getting soggy from sitting in the pasta water.
Saute lots of minced garlic in butter and olive oil (but mostly butter) until it starts to turn a light golden color, add finely chopped onions. Keep an eye on it and adjust heat as necessary. You want to sweat the onions and sort of brown the garlic without burning it.
Add zucchini slices. Slice the zucchini lengthwise on a mandolin or vegetable peeler - it's not so much of a slice as it is a shave - like really delicate satiny zucchini ribbons.
Add paprika, salt, and black pepper.
Add more butter and/or olive oil as needed. Try to make enough garlic butter sauce to completely coat every ravioli without being too oily.
Add roughly chopped fresh mint leaves and thai basil. I wanted to just add regular basil, but I guess I killed my plant so I used what I had and it was really good.
Turn off the heat and add the cooked ravioli to the zucchini and butter sauce. Mix gently to coat the ravioli.

I don't really measure anything so I can't even pretend to tell you how much of each ingredient I used, but I know I used a LOT of garlic. If I had had any parmegiano reggiano on hand, I would have grated some on top of each serving.

Enjoy.

Prayers for Faloma and Meleina

2011-05-30T23:04:00.001+10:00

Dear Friends, terrible events take place all over the world all the time; and as child friendly as our community is, as great a place to raise children as it is, as family oriented as we are, apparently, Saipan is no exception.

Something terrible has happened in our small island community, two young girls are missing. They've been missing since last Wednesday. You can read about it here. Police and residents are working together to locate the girls and bring them to safety. Prayers for these young sisters are being offered around the clock.

Please join us in prayer for Faloma Luhk and Meleina Luhk, ten and nine years old, respectively. Here is today's article and also a FB prayer page for them.

If you know of any information about this, please come forward and contact our police or Crime Stoppers at 234-7272.

Bring The Kids

2011-05-22T22:12:00.001+10:00

Now that one aspect of my life has become slightly more manageable, although it is still delicately teetering on the brink of insanity, I'm taking you back to the beginning of the year.

January marked mine and James's 6th wedding anniversary. Instead of doing our usual dinner at Raraina, we decided to spend a night at the Fiesta Resort and Spa. This would be my first ever night away from Jacob and, aside from Katelyn's sleepover at my sister's house, it would be my first night away from Katelyn for reasons other than hospitalization. I was looking foward to a nice relaxing night alone with my husband . . . and then James said he wanted to bring the kids. Yes, let's have a romantic anniversary getaway with the kids. The two young rambunctious children. Bring them. On our anniversary.

We brought them. They jumped on the bed and went out on the balcony. They checked out the mini-fridge and wore the complimentary slippers. And then we took them home and dumped them on my sister. Mwhahaha!

Just kidding about the evil laugh. I missed them dearly. But it was so nice to have an evening alone with my husband while not in the hospital.

P.s. I really liked the bathroom.

Identity Crisis

2011-05-13T18:48:00.000+10:00

Something is not right.

Thankful. Always.

2011-05-06T19:17:00.002+10:00

How many times can you say that you thought you'd be a widow in your twenties? Me? Twice. Although, had that happened, it really wouldn't have been about me. I'm so thankful that God spared my husband again. And this time He revealed the cause to us.

I'm thankful for my husband, my children, and our family both on Saipan and abroad who supported us and prayed for us during this trying time. They are always in my prayers.

I'm thankful that we have a home. And I will pray for those who don't.

I'm thankful that we have jobs and our children go to a good school. And I pray that these organizations flourish and their students blossom.

I'm thankful I know the Lord, because nothing else really matters.

"Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it. But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." ~Psalm 39:6-7 (NIV)

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ~Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

Pooped! As in exhausted.

2011-04-26T12:24:00.000+10:00

Every single facet of my life has been absolutely exhausting lately. But, I mean, who's life isn't?

You know the whole "if it's yellow let it mellow" concept? In theory, I'm a fan. In practice, come on, who really wants to pee into a toilet of old pee?

Stay sane friends.

Coffee and Shakespeare

2011-04-10T19:15:00.000+10:00

So it's lent season now, aye? Is that what it's called - lent season? You'd think I would know, having grown up on a predominantly catholic island.

Typical Friday lent conversation between me any nearly any other Chamorro on Saipan:

Me: Fish again? Oh right. Lent.

Other Person: Man I can't wait to eat rice again. What did you give up?

Me: Nothing. I'm not catholic.

Other Person: YOU'RE NOT CATHOLIC?!?!?!!!!!!

Me: No.

Other Person: *flabbergastedly speechless*

I wonder if the catholic church would subsidize incomes if patrons gave up their jobs for lent? Would they provide maids if patrons gave up housework?

I love these guys so much!

2011-03-20T16:27:00.000+10:00

My daughter's artistic ability knows no bounds. I am amazed more and more every day by her ability to conceptualize the abstract and turn rational ideas into art. Sometimes I feel like the world is just a series of jokes to her.

...until she gets upset - and then it's Katelyn against the world. But that's for another post.

Having never taken a photography class or workshop in her five years of life, Katelyn took these pictures of us at the park last month (completely unedited):

I'm blown away.

And now I give you the pictures that Jabob took:

Awesome.

Just For Today

2011-03-06T11:36:00.000+10:00

If you asked me when I was a girl what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you that I wanted to be a lawyer.

If you asked me when I was a teenager, I would have said a civil engineer.

If you asked me when I was in my first two years of college, I would have said a city planner.

If you asked me when I was in my last two years of college, I would have said a general manager/CEO.

I am currently none of the above. If you asked me today, I'd tell you I prefer the view from below - or at least from the upper-mid level.

Just for today, if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?

Free Form. Not Free.

2011-03-01T21:15:00.001+10:00

I'm the one sending emails at midnight.
Fleeting weekends.
Too much coffee, I don't sleep right.`

One half bleeds into the other.
Dripping into shallow pools,
Blocking out the light - that shining light.

Patience wears thin.
Consequence swims in the shallows.
Looking for a ledge.

Germs seep in,
But the virus is at bay.

My pillar, my rock.
Remove me.

Who are we?

2011-02-16T22:31:00.000+10:00

We cowered in the corners.
Hoping we were enough to dispel the lingering doubt.
To prove our worth by our mere existence.

Whoosh!

2011-02-15T20:07:00.001+10:00

Whoa, did you all know that yesterday was Valentine's Day?

Tonight we eat chocolate!

Didn't Happn, But Could Have

2011-02-12T10:52:00.000+10:00

A fake conversation with my mom...

Mom: What's that?

Me: Dessert. It's good.

Mom: What is it?

Me: Hey, you put cereal in your ice cream, I lick sweetened condensed milk off of spoons.

Yes, I'm that mom.

2011-02-01T11:56:00.001+10:00

I'm the mom who forgot to send her kids to school with lunch so she picked up McDonald's and delivered it while all the other kids watched as she walked with the Happy Meal bags across the school yard during recess . So sorry. I didn't plan well.

Fredrick

2011-01-25T23:23:00.001+10:00

I do so love The Giving Tree.

And if you love The Giving Tree too, do you adore the stark contrast in Fredrick as I do?

I feel like I could write an essay on this short picture book. It is as complicated as it is simple and it is as disheartening as it is insightful.

Zoom zoom zoom!

2011-01-22T23:09:00.000+10:00

I should have taken a picture before we drove it off the lot, but this picture's okay, right?

We bought a new car, yo! It's really for my mom. But still, we bought a new car!

If you're looking to buy a vehicle, let me tell you, go to Triple J. They were so welcoming, so accomodating. They didn't wince once as I went back and forth about which vehicle we wanted. We've been taking our Ford there for service and maintenance and it's the only shop we trust. And now, it's also my favorite place to buy from.

Bitten

2011-01-11T00:46:00.002+10:00

I am unconditionally and irrevocably hooked on the Twilight saga.

I wish I had known the joys of reading books when I was younger. The best I ever did was a short stint in high school when I read through steamy romance novels the way I read through Archie comics in grade school - during class. Only now, in my late twenties, do I understand the power of a good book. And it makes my heart grieve because I know that no matter how many books I read in a week, it will never make up for all the good books that I could have read by now. I'll never be able to catch up.

Until just recently, it never crossed my mind that I would ever read any of the Twilight books. I don't like horror and I don't like vampire stories, but I figured that James and I would watch the movies one day and that would be that. We did watch them. And I loved them! I loved them for the pretty faces, for the entertainment, for the romance, but mainly for the internal and external struggles of good and evil. I was hooked.

A week later, on January 2, 2011, after having watched all three movies at least twice, James took me to the bookstore to buy me the first book, but instead, I walked out with the box set! Score! (fist pump)

Nevermind that each book in the saga is longer than your average fiction novel, I didn't read just one, I read TWO of the books in a week flat. But I doubt that I'll be able to finish Eclipse and Breaking Dawn that quickly - life is catching up with me. There are bathrooms to clean and laundry to fold. Oh, and my job. There's that too.

Is it wrong that I want to leave the world behind and retreat to a comfy couch somewhere bright and cool and just read for the rest of my life? That's not too selfish, it is?

All The Best

2010-12-31T19:01:00.001+10:00

I wish you all the best, my friends. May the Lord bring you much love and many blessings in 2011.

Happy New Year!

Here's the thing...

2010-12-20T23:38:00.000+10:00

I'm busy. How busy am I?

I'm so busy that I'm writing the same post on both blogs.

I'm so busy I forgot to laugh.

I'm so busy that no matter how much I accomplish in a day, my to-do list still seems to be getting longer.

I'm so busy sometimes I forget to pee.

I'm so busy that breakfast is at noon and lunch is at four.

I'm so busy at work that the chaos at home is like a vacation.

I'm so busy at home that my only alone time is when I'm in the bathroom.

I'm so busy I can't even see the roses, how the heck am I supposed to smell them?

Friends, I have not been ignoring your emails. I just haven't had much time in front of the computer. I'm trying, I really am. I'm getting there, little by little. Please don't give up on me.

What Not To Say

2010-12-15T20:18:00.000+10:00

I am the epitome of awkward. Today I wore a pink polo with a dark gray knee length A-line skirt and a light gray and white striped 3/4 sleeve cardigan and patent leather sling backs. It sounds better than it looked. I should not be allowed to dress myself.

But the real kicker is what I said this evening at my dear friend's shindig. Oh no, the embarrassing awkwardness shall not be repeated. If you would like to know what not to say in any social situation, I can help. Send your inquiries to ayorata[at]gmail .com.

(I'm sorry I don't have the new WWII up. I'll try to post it tomorrow. Wednesday kind of snuck up on me.)

World Ethics Commission

2010-12-10T21:17:00.000+10:00

My daughter could be the Chairwoman of the World Ethics Commission. Her qualifications? She is the reigning authority on what is and isn't fair.

"Mom, it's not fair that Jacob doesn't have to take a nap."

"...Katelyn, does that sound fair?" "Yes, mom, that sounds fair."

"It's not fair that I have to clean the whole thing, Jacob is the one who played with the legos."

"Sure mom, one cookie sounds fair."

"He's leaving it there? It's not fair that he's just leaving it there!"

She's also a good whistleblower.

"Dad gave me gum."

"Jacob took my book."

"Dad gave me a cookie."

"Jacob won't give me the barbie."

"Dad gave me chocolate."

Direct your ethics questions to ayorata @ gmail . com

Romantic My Foot

2010-12-04T00:41:00.000+10:00

If you are under the false impression that line drying clothes is this beautiful act that connects you to some old time lifestyle, think again. It's a highly romanticized idea - to see your sheets sway in the breeze, sunlight glowing through their fibers. The truth is, if you live in the tropics, it's an uncomfortable ugly activity.

Sweat beading all over you. Insects creeping in the grass and crawling through the trees. Blinding sunlight burning straight through your brain.

Hang the clothes. Put another load in the washer. Keep an eye on the clouds. Do some housework. Look at the clouds. Check for dryness - not quite. Check the clouds for signs of rain. Hang up the next load. Keep an eye on the clouds. Go inside to grab your next load. Stop to pee first - hear the rain. Rain?! Rush outside to pull down the clothes. Sweat. Rain. Heat. Bring the clothes in - hang them on chairs, couches, stools. Look outside and notice that the rain has stopped and the sun is in full force. Shake your fist in the air. Gather the damp articles and hang them back on the line. Keep an eye on the clouds.

(You can purchase my jams and other handmade items at the Brilliant Star Holiday Bazaar this Sunday at the Multipurpose Center from 9am-5pm. Mango Jam, Pineapple Jam, Papaya Preserves, Guava Jam, Tangerine Marmalade, jam gift sets, coconut oil infused with ylang ylang, totes, aprons, ajinoMOTO Racing T-shirts. Please come to the bazaar to support our local crafters and artists and pick up some great holiday gifts.)

A First Time For Everything

2010-11-29T00:23:00.001+10:00

I hate making pie dough. I just hate it. In fact, I really don't enjoy making any kind of pastry dough anymore. I don't think it has as much to do with me not enjoying the process as it has to do with my small unairconditioned hot and humid even in November kitchen. If I were back in California right now, I'd probably be making croissants. But I'm not in California. I'm here, on Saipan. Hot, humid, not at all wintery Saipan. Bah humbug!

I never used to make the apple pies. In fact, I hardly ever made any baked pies - because of the dough. But for the past few years that my sister hasn't been making apple pies, the holidays just haven't been complete. I needed apple pie. But I wasn't going to make the crust. Enter frozen pie dough. Have you ever tried frozen pie dough? It's great! It's not exactly the same as my, I mean my sister's, dough, but still, it's not bad at all.

So I used the frozen pie dough and I baked some apple pies. My first apple pies! Any my first oven fire as well! Yes, I started a fire in the oven. Yes, from the sugary juices that dripped out of the pies and onto the oven floor. Yes, I did put the pies on a cookie sheet. Yes, a flat cookie sheet. No, I did not think that one through.

I grabbed the fire extinguisher and called for James to come back in the house from cutting coconuts with the kids. Yes, James was outside cutting freshly picked coconuts in 80+ degree weather in November . . . and I'm here wishing we were in Los Angeles right now.

I turned off the oven and its breaker switch as well. But my pies were still inside. My pies! Death by oven fire or death by extinguisher? I was straight up scared. I was scared to lose my pies, but I was even more scared that when I opened the oven door flames would shoot out and we'd lose the house. Ignoring the panic in my voice, James finally came inside. He told me to get the pies out and throw some flour on the fire. Or baking soda. Or dirt. What?! You throw it! I'll stand back here with the fire extinguisher.

James put out the fire. We're all still alive. The house and its contents are unharmed. And thanks to a tin foil lined oven floor, the oven is also unharmed. And my pies . . . oh, my pies, so good. So good.

Everyday

2010-11-25T06:00:00.000+10:00

...In order to form a more perfect union, our fathers brought forth...a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...

Isn't that how it goes?

Let's be thankful every day. For the big and the small, the good and the bad. For the storms and the calm. For the annoyance that happened two weeks ago that made today great.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

Wednesday What Is It?

2010-11-24T22:24:00.000+10:00

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results

2010-11-24T21:23:00.000+10:00

The results of the last week's Wednesday What Is It?

A (Blueberry) Muffin!

5 points to Bon!

Wednesday What Is It?

2010-11-17T23:26:00.000+10:00

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results

2010-11-17T23:24:00.001+10:00

The results of last week's Wednesday What Is It?

Cake!

5 points to Boni!

2 points to SharShine.

I wanna be a billionaire....who eats her veggies.

2010-11-16T13:30:00.001+10:00

Katelyn: (signing) I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine. Smiling next to Okra and the Queen.

Me: It's Oprah. With a "P".

Katelyn: ...Smiling next to Okra with a Pea

I don't get it. Because that girl has been signing it correctly since she first heard it. The Kidz Bop version of course. I know, I know. I remember what I said. I changed my mind, and I'll tell you why later on.

Hula is not just hula.

2010-11-14T13:42:00.000+10:00

Auntie Lorraine used to tell me, "hula is not just hula". It is more than just dance. Hula is movement, it is art, it is beauty, it is poetry and song in visual form, it is personal.

Katelyn had shown only a sliver of interest in learning hula from me.

Her interest grew after my sister started teaching Keiki Hula again.

Katelyn saw the little girls perform on stage. And in October, she joined them.

Little Folks

2010-11-11T13:21:00.001+10:00

Katelyn: Why do you like Little Einsteins, Jacob? Because you're little?

Wednesday What Is It?

2010-11-10T21:01:00.000+10:00

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results

2010-11-10T20:34:00.000+10:00

The results of last week's Wednesday What Is It?

Can Opener!

Boni, I'm so glad you played!

This is long.

2010-11-08T23:29:00.004+10:00

There's so much I've been meaning to tell you, my friends. Like Katelyn's first hula performance, the Japanese Autumn Festival last month, and my amazing window treatment upgrade. But those will have to wait. I've got to tell you about Halloween before it becomes irrelevant. And perhaps it is already a little irrelevant, seeing as how it's already NOVEMBER and Christmas commercials are already airing. But cut me a little slack, because the day after Halloween is already November.

For Halloween 2009, we decided to take the kids to Trunk Or Treat at American Memorial Park. It was our first year there and we had a great time. There was a good crowd, but there was also a good number of trunks/booths. Some booths ran out of candy early on, but there were still so many other booths there that it was almost unnoticeable. Like most kids on Saipan, we don't live in a traditional neighborhood so my kids don't get to trick or treat the way James and I did when we were their age, so this event was it for them - this was their trick or treating and it was fun. It warmed my heart to see so many individuals and organizations giving to the community and receiving only smiles in return.We enjoyed it so much that we decided to be part of the event for Halloween 2010.

Here's what I know:

Trunk or Treat is open to the public, meaning kids from accross the entire island are welcome to go there and trick-or-treat.
It is a community event, reserving a booth is free and no one makes any money from it.
Organizations and individuals who give out candy do it from the the kindness of their hearts and fund it with their own money.
Halloween should be fun - for everyone.

Here's what else I know:

Kids should get the candy, not adults. Even big kids, a.k.a. teenagers, if dressed properly, should get candy, not adults.
People should not reach into the open trunk of another person's vehicle and take balloons without asking, especially not adults! And if she had asked, I would have gladly given her all the balloons she wanted. Thanks for leaving a sour taste in my mouth lady.
Apparently, not everyone on Saipan knows that the proper thing to say whilst trick-or-treating is "trick or treat".
I'm doing my best people, but this candy is not a right. You get what you get. Please don't ask for specific candies while 20 buckets are waiting for their candy too. And please don't inspect my booth to see what other kind of candy I may have stashed away.
Barbecuing at this event is not only rude, but also hazardous to everyone's health.
Adults should not walk up to booths with their hands out and say "can I have gum!"
Adults should not shove their children to the front of the line and say, "put up your bag!"
Adults should teach their kids how to stand in a line.
Adults shouldn't be rude to families who run out of candy early even though they were the ones who decided to bring their kids to the event 30 minutes before it ended.

Some happier things I know:

Jack O'lanterns are fascinating. I'm glad we brought ours and it, in turn, brought smiles to the kids.
Kids in costumes are cute.
It is nice to give. It is nice to see my kids give.

Overall, I enjoyed having a booth - click here to see. But, as you read above, there were definitely some disappointing parts to the event. I will illustrate with my uber artistic computer generated rendition below (click to see it larger):

The top half shows what I remember of the event in 2009. The bottom half shows what I remember of this year's event. Notice how in 2009, the event was much more contained - only half of the parking lot was used. Those blue rectangles represent occupied booths and the maroon ovals represent people or groups of people. Notice how it appears manageable.

On to 2010. The brown rectangles represent occupied booths. I couldn't tell exactly how many booths were there as I never got a moment to walk around and see, but from what I could tell, it was empty as compared to 2009. Notice the long thin rectangle on the right, that represents the four empty spaces reserved by MVA - four empty spaces! When we reserved our booths ("we" being my sister and "our booths" being her family's, her friend's family's, and my family's) we were told that a certain person from a certain prominent community organization had already reserved 20 of the available 40 booths. And by my simple observation of the booths, this organization that reserved 20 booths only occupied three, maybe four. The red ovals/cirles represent people. Notice how unmanageable it was. There were people walking through the event all the time, but as long as a booth had candy, there was a crowd of people swarming the booth. Do you see the thicker rectangle? That represents another nameless organization that had three spots, but only gave out candy in one. In addition to short changing the kids, they were also suffocating us with their BBQ smoke. Note the black circle represnting the BBQ grill and the gray trail of smoke that blew directly at us FOR HOURS. It was horrible. At least the trick-or-treaters were walking, we couldn't move our booth. How much more inconsiderate can you get? The park should not have allowed barbequeing in the first place. But when I asked a ranger about it, she said that it was allowable as long as they had a permit and it was an above ground fire. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

I am extremely disappointed in the organizations that did not hand out candy in every booth they reserved. There was the potential for the kids to get 30-40 pieces of candy each, depending on whether or not a booth had candy (most, dare I say all, of the booths ran out of candy before the night was over), instead, judging by my kids' buckets, each kid got got eight to ten pieces.

The event was totally worth it when I consider how happy the kids seemed - both my kids and other people's kids. We spent a decent amount of money on our costumes, booth, and candy and wanted to make sure everyone had a great time. But watching some of the adults come through totally put a damper on my flame (is that even a saying). It was the adults that made us decide not to do this event again.

Also, there didn't seem to be much crowd control either, there was no definite beginning of the event, and it seemed that trick-or-treaters were not told that although they were welcome to stay as long as they wanted, they should trick-or-treat at each booth only once. We had kids (and adults) coming back two, three, four times. And it wouldn't have been a problem if we were millionaires and had filled our car to the roof with candy, but we aren't millionaires. We are a regular working class family who bought about 1500 pieces of candy and we were wiped out in two hours.

Despite these challenges, I'll still tell you that, overall, it was a nice event.

Yes, I carved all four nations into our jack o'lantern.

Wednesday What Is It?

2010-11-03T23:31:00.000+10:00

It's still Wednesday on Saipan for another 23 minutes. . . . so

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results. Finally!

2010-11-03T23:13:00.000+10:00

The results of the last Wednesday What Is It? It's about time isn't it?

Yarn!

5 points to Sheila!

2 points each to Plumeria Girl, Bon, and SharShine

Dagnabit!

2010-10-27T13:21:00.000+10:00

Oh my gosh, ya'll! I was all ready to restart the WWII today, but I just realized that, once again, I don't have access to my last picture right now. I'm so sorry. Next week.

For now, I'll leave you with a picture of what I have decided is the world's largest snail which was found right outside my office. Enjoy!

Here it is with a pretty big banana for perspective, but I still don't think you get the full effect.

And here it is when it came out to eat. Ew! But pretty cool, right?

What to do, what to do?

2010-10-26T00:16:00.000+10:00

What do you do when the two vehicles you're interested in are only available at the one dealership on island that you vowed never to return to?

a) Have your husband go do the dirty work?
b) Make the sacrifice and go elsewhere?
c) Hang your head in shame as you open the showroom door?
d) Scream, shout, and stomp your feet then suck it up and go buy the stupid car?

The correct answer? I'm still not sure. But I'm leaning more toward C and/or D.
~~~

I thought it was a genius idea. I thought she'd enjoy it. I thought we'd turn it into different games and have some fun mother-daughter time. I forgot how much of a jokester my daughter is.

The actual spelling/learning part lasted all of three minutes. The rest of the time she pulls out these letter cards, it's just to string them together and have her father and I say things like inarpmxzitinipopasnatrombonam.

De-stinkify

2010-10-12T23:25:00.000+10:00

I love Clorox. There I said it. I love Clorox, is that so wrong? I love the Clorox wipes. I love the Green Works, the toilet bowl drop-ins, I love the 409 and the Hidden Valley Ranch. Did you know Clorox makes Hidden Valley Ranch? I didn't know this!

Am I allowed to write this? To write about how much I love a name brand company and its products? I suppose so. They aren't asking me to, I'm not being compensated. But I wouldn't mind if they did, if I was. Maybe they'll see this and hire me as their spokesmom.They'd put me on TV and on the radio. They'd send me on national product tours to do demonstrations and signings. And I'd be more than happy to oblige - for everything except Fresh Step and Scoop Away because homie don't play. And by homie, I mean my allergies. And by don't play, I mean make me feel like my head is a water balloon about to go pop!

Living on a hot humid tropical island, most of all I love the Clorox bleach. Sure, I could get generic bleaches, but I don't. Maybe some of you are like, but Deece, bleach isn't good for the environment. My friends, you are wrong. It is good for the environment - MY environment. The environment where mold and mildew grow on everything. Where the warm humid air penetrates any semi-porus surface. Where you clean and scrub and wipe and then you clean again because you live in the boonies and there are little bits of dust and pollen that settle everywhere. With bleach, you can disinfect, lighten, de-stinkify, de-mold, and destroy both indoors and outdoors.

Dear Clorox, I wish you would love me as much as I love you. But I'll settle for a one-sided relationship because you are just that awesome.

C'mon! DEFENSE! DEFENSE!

2010-10-07T14:15:00.000+10:00

Dear Vitamin Water (Defense),

Thank you.

But please consider bottling it by the gallon or two (or five).

Sincerely,

Deece

BAM!

2010-10-03T15:57:00.003+10:00

Have you ever promised your kids a spectacular treat on Saturday night if they eat all their vegetables that week, but then Saturday rolls around and even though all vegetables have been consumed you have nary an ounce of spectacular in your fridge? You can blame it on your lemon of a Ford for not being able to go to the store and buy what you needed to, or you can suck it up, see what's in the basket, and make like you're on Chopped - except no kimchee paste in the dessert round please. Unless you have an ice cream maker, that might be interesting.

What you will need: Bananas, Sugar, Peanut Butter, Whipped Cream, Chocolate Sauce, and little bit of Willpower

1. Cut the bananas to your liking. James cut some of the bananas in half then cut those halves in half lengthwise and I cut some other bananas into little chunks. We set my chunks aside.

2. Sprinkle some sugar in a pan and place some of the bananas on top of sugar. Sautee on both sides until bananas become a nice light gold color.(James used his lengthy bananas for this step.) Keep the heat on low or medium, burnt sugar tastes like crud. I guess you could sprinkle some cinnamon in there too and/or nutmeg and/or allspice. Then place your slightly crispy, somewhat caramalized, super delicious bananas in serving bowls.

3. Add some of the chunked raw bananas to the serving bowls. It's okay to question your work at this point. Self-doubt leads to determination and sucess leads to self-actualization.

4. Plop a dollop of smooth peanut butter in the serving bowls. The placement of the peanut butter is entirely up to you - on the cool fresh bananas, on the soft caramalized bananas, off to the side so as not to touch any bananas because you have a complex about foods mixing with other foods. It's totally up to you. Personally, I don't have a complex, so I basically take some peanut butter and fling it in the general direction of the bowl and hope that it doesn't land on the counter. Or on the carpet. That would suck. It would suck the joy right out of my night, so much so that I'd need to eat an extra serving of dessert - except without the peanut butter, which wouldn't make me happy. So let's just hope the peanut butter makes it into the bowls. I think the peanut butter should not be served straight out of the fridge, like a good roast, it should have some time to rest before plating, let it soften a bit.

5. Cover the bananas and peanut butter in whipped cream. It now looks good enough to eat. But don't eat it yet!

6. One final crowning touch - pour chocolate sauce (or chocolate syrup) on top. Aw yeah, now it's spectacular!

Marvel at your amazing culinary feat. Go ahead, bask in the glory of its spectacularness. Then serve it to your kids before your ear drums pop from their nonstop chant-whine, "but you saaaaaiiiid..."

Note how their eyes light up. Gusteau was right, anyone can cook.

It's About Time

2010-10-01T18:16:00.000+10:00

Katelyn has had three loose teeth for quite a while now. Weeks. Maybe even months. Three loose teeth that she refused to wiggle - one on top and two on bottom. She refused to bite even the softest food with these teeth. It was driving me nuts. But I think I'm the reason why she has been so ginger with them. I told her the story about the time that I bit into my cheeseburger and chomped down on something hard, like a rock, it was my tooth!

If you've seen my daughter in the past month or so you probably noticed how her front top left tooth is sticking out in a stereotypically hillbilly fashion. She won't wiggle it, but we know her adult tooth is descending and it's pushing her baby tooth around. It's getting pretty ridiculous.

Her two front bottom teeth have been loose for some weeks now, maybe bordering on a few months, I'm not really sure. Her adult teeth have already ruptured and she's had four front bottom teeth for at least two weeks now, like a shark or something. I've wanted to just pluck those baby teeth out of her gums every single day this week. Seriously, they were so loose that I was afraid she'd snore them in and choke on them in her sleep.

Last night while horsing around on the bed, Katelyn tickled Jacob and he accidentally kicked her in the mouth, and out came her two bottom teeth! Fina-frickin-ly. There were no tears like I was expecting. We were all so proud of her! There was some listerine used, some pictures taken, some smiles, and some hugs and high fives all around. But the one voice heard above all the joy and celebration was that of a proud little boy for his part in the rite of passage, "I kicked Katelyn in the mouth and her teeth fell out!" They were both beaming.

So we found some tissue paper and made a little pouch for the teeth so they'd be safe under her pillow for the Toothfairy. She wouldn't even let her dad lay down on her pillow for fear that her teeth would be crushed under his weight. My amazing little girl.

Slacker

2010-09-21T13:29:00.001+10:00

On Saturday, I told myself that if I only accomplished one thing that day, it would be to vacuum our bedroom. Not a lofty goal. Definitely doable.

What do you think was the one thing I didn't accomplish? I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with bacuum.

Oh Em Gee

2010-09-18T23:59:00.007+10:00

We had breakfast at Raffy's this morning. There was only one other car in the lot when we pulled in, it was in the spot directly in front of the door and I was about to park right next to it until that little voice of reason, also known as my husband, was all like, "there's only one car here, why do you want to park right next to it?" Whaaaa? Well, I suppose I could park one space over, I mean, it is just an eight car lot and moving one space down would only add another five feet to the six-foot walk from the parking lot to the restaurant door. But wait, five feet . . .that's almost twice as far! You do know about the Chamorro parking gene, right? We Chamorros have an ingrained desire, nay, need to park in the closest possible spot near the entry way of any establishment, even if it means we force our vehicle to park in a spot that is clearly too small and now we have to temporarily turn into yoga gurus to get our dagans (butts) out the door, even if it means we park on the grass next to a sign that says "do not park on the grass", even if it means that when we're at a mall in the states we circle the parking lot over and over and over until we find a satisfactory spot even though it takes us half our alloted shopping time to find it but we're so proud of ourselves and think it was totally worth it until we enter the mall and realize that Sears is on the opposite end.

Somehow we ended up at the booth that was back to back with the booth of the only other people in the restaurant. I don't know how this happened, seeing as how it was my husband who chose our booth right after he steered me away from parking right next to the only other car in the lot. And seeing as how our two booths were the only booths or tables to contain people, I'm guessing that car in the lot belonged to our dining neighbors. For some reason we don't want to leave our quiet and totally stationary vehicles side by side in an otherwise empty lot, but we do want to seat our two loud and unruly children in a booth that is back to back with a family of three young kids - in an otherwise empty restaurant.

So of course, Jacob, being Jacob, turned around and showed one of the boys his Captain America figurine and the boy showed Jacob his Sharks book. Then Jacob said, "like in Finding Nemo!" What can I say, we get Australian Discovery Channel, goodbye Shark Week. What else can I say, other than great, now I've got a wholesome family of literates thinking we parent by TV. At least my kids can speak Spanish. Sort of. Dora and Diega are my amigos! Holla! I mean hola!

Soon after the boys' friendly exchange, Jacob, once again, climbed to his knees and turned around and peeked over the top of our booth at the other family and at the father in particular (who was wearing a white baseball cap) as they patiently and quietly awaited their morning vittles. Then he turned back to us and told us in his regular voice, which is something louder than an inside voice, "I saw that guy over there with the big head." Ai! James and I quickly turned to meet Jacob's eyes, we tried to correct him "yeah, you saw the guy with the big hat". But he corrected us, "no, he has a big head". I slumped into my seat. First of all this guy and his family were super nice to us, and second of all he totally did not have a head that warranted the use of the adjective "big" in front of it, and third of all OH EM GEE!

SAD

2010-09-09T13:43:00.000+10:00

I'm so sad. I had a post. Pretty decent, it was. And now it's gone. All thanks to this dumb key " ` ". I feel defeated.

Internalize: Judge Not

2010-08-24T13:29:00.002+10:00

I've been called overprotective. I've been called over-sensitive. Perhaps I've even been called over-rated.

They can call me anything really, it won't change who I am. It might hurt my feelings initially, but I'll get over it. I guess it would really depend on the context. It's funny how the pairing of one word with another can alter their meanings so dramatically that the words now hold a negative connotation.

I don't consider myself overprotective, just protective.

Before you pass judgment on others, look inside first. Maybe I'm not over-sensitive, maybe you're just under-sensitive.

Judge not, lest ye be judged. I fail every day, but I'm trying.

^"How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?" ~Matthew 7:4

United Islands of Deece

2010-08-20T00:23:00.003+10:00

You know that the 90's were awesome and who in the world was not hypnotized by Lauryn Hill's voice - so sing it with me, "if I ruled the world, imagine that, I'd free all my sons...."

Without going into details, I give you the United Islands of Deece. If I had it my way...

There would be a clear direction for the CNMI, a master plan, if you will. One that maximizes the use of our resources while minimizing negative impacts on our people and environment. Not only would there be a plan, but there would also be plan implementation.
Sustainable eco-tourism and farming would be highly valued and aggressively promoted.
More resources would be given to health, safety, and education (from pre-school through college and workforce training).
I would overhaul the government, including:

restructuring and restaffing departments, which may mean dissolving certain offices and redistributing necessary tasks to other departments - e.g., the mayor's office
utilizing half- and part-time employees
reducing the size of the legislature and converting it to part time.
hiring only competant and caring individuals where things like last name, race, gender, skin color, and age don't matter.
overhauling and beefing up the public auditor's office and MVA, that is, if MVA wouldn't already have been dissolved and its tasks redistributed.
abolishing many councils, starting with the Municipal Council.
expanding the responsibilities of the Zoning Office, and maybe even changing its name to something like the CNMI Development Office.
streamlining licensing and permitting activities - like obtaining business licenses and filmming permits
relocating offices to streamline and centralize services and to save money.
making sure employees understand and display that being a public servant is a privalege.

There would be a major crack down on ice and illegal pesticides.
The red lights would be no more.
I would require strict enforcement of good laws, while amending or repealing ineffective and bad ones.
More people would "buy local".
Criminals would serve their proper jail terms while undergoing real and effective rehabilitation and training programs.
We would not be widening back road right now, but using that money to fix existing roads and signs and roadside drainage systems.
Every person would value our environment and work to protect it - our land and what is on it, our waters and their ecosystems, our air and what we emit into it.
There would be at least one field of windmills.
Tap water would be potable water.
Each of our islands would be equally valued.
The pledge of allegiance would be said in schools and everyone would understand that American is not a color.

Yes. Yes, I think so.

Ew, just ew.

2010-08-16T17:05:00.003+10:00

So, to avoid having bits of food in my teeth when I went for my dental follow up today, I only had a cup of corn soup for lunch. And a stick of gum to follow, you know, since I don't bring my toothbrush to work. And wouldn’t you know, my dentist pulled out a kernel of corn that was lodged in the hole where my left wisdom tooth used to be. Gross. Yes, I’m a little embarrassed, but it’s not like my dentist hasn’t already filled a ridiculous number of my cavities, performed a root canal, and extracted two of my wisdom teeth, during which process I gagged several times, so I guess a piece of corn isn’t so bad.

Did I tell you that last week he extracted a bone fragment from my gums? Yeah. Fun times.

Grapes and Sunshine

2010-08-14T14:30:00.000+10:00

I left my sick son with my sick husband and I took my daughter to get our hair done this morning. I had the best time, especially in the car on the way there. Since we have no radio in the car, I started singing. If there's one thing Katelyn can't resist, besides chocolate, ice cream, or a bubble bath, it's a good song. So I sang. And she sang. And in the song, I sang the word 'above'.

Katelyn: A buffalo?

Me: No, above. Like above and below.

Katelyn: Oh, I thought you said buffalo! haha

Me: Abovebelow, it kind of sounds like "a buffalo". haha!

Katelyn: Ha ha! Abovebelow, like a buffalo. I know a song with a buffalo. Woy yoy yo, woy yo yoy yo....

So we sang Buffalo Soldier until we arrived at the salon.

And now, as my son sleeps, Katelyn and I are watching The Last Airbender cartoons and snacking on oranges and grapes, and havarti and salami. I am blessed.

I guess men like this?

2010-08-09T16:11:00.000+10:00

Just one straight shot. Put some in your hair and let it work it's way down to your feet. While women need, at the very least, three separate cleaning/conditioning agents in the shower, men just need one:

(This may be the most unflattering picture of me ever.)

Better yet, showers should come equipped with a 'man setting' like those do-it-yourself carwashes where you just choose the setting and it automatically changes from suds to rinse. With the man shower setting he wouldn't have to do a thing, just turn on the water and stand there; after rinsing it would change to conditioning hair and body wash then back to rinse. Done and done.

That's the last of them.

2010-08-03T22:40:00.000+10:00

I had my last two remaining wisdom teeth taken out today. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might end up being, but there was a lot of bleeding afterward. A lot. My jaw hurts and I'm hungry.

How much do you think the Tooth Fairy will give me for them? I brought the teeth home to show my kids and talk about teeth, but I think I'm more fascinated by the teeth than my kids are. Maybe they'll be more excited tomorrow when I'll actually be able to talk to them instead of just grunting at them and pointing.

I have the best dentist in the world. Seriously, I do.

The thing about popcorn is...

2010-08-02T00:07:00.002+10:00

We loves us some popcorn. We love it so much that I just bought a 32-bag box of microwavable popcorn from Costco, excuse me, the Joeten Superstore. I estimate that it will last us about two months.

One reason why I love popcorn is because it's a healthier bribe than, say, any of the chocolate or ice cream I usually bribe my kids with.

And one reason why I hate popcorn is because of nights like tonight when one of my kids chokes on those stupid kernels. Stupid kernels.

I've really gone and done it this time.

2010-07-30T21:43:00.000+10:00

I read a book! An honest to goodness, real life book! I told you I was going to. I watched the movie first and I loved it so much that I decided to read the book - which is kind of a big deal for me.

Am I the only one who didn't immediately love The Time Traveler's Wife? If I hadn't have seen the movie first or heard such great things about the book, I probably wouldn't have continued reading it after the first few pages. The writing style turned me off early on, it was very difficult for me to really get into it - I couldn't connect with it. But my friends encouraged me and assured me it would get better. And you know, they were right. I don't remember quite when the turning point came, but once I reached it, oh my, I couldn't put the book down. I took it with me everywhere, I read it every chance I got. Once I finished it I wanted to read it all over again. I wanted to switch lives with Clare for just one day, I wanted to be the Time Traveler's Wife just for a moment.

That's the way I intend to read all books that have been adapted into movies - watch the movie first, then read the book. And that's not only because we all know that I frequently watch movies, but don't often read books so it is highly likely that I won't be interested in reading the book until after I've seen the movie anyway, but it's also because I think it allows me the opportunity to really enjoy the movie before finding out about all the details in the book that just aren't able to make it into the movie. It just isn't possible to capture an entire book in a one-part movie and, when done well, I appreciate the liberty that the screen writers and directors take in adapting the book into a movie. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment thinking that the movie will be exactly like the book. Watching the movie first lets me enjoy the story and the on-screen visuals and then reading the book afterward lets me start over and read an expanded version of the story that I can now visualize how I please.

I do so love this book. And the movie too.

Wednesday What Is It?

2010-07-21T13:19:00.000+10:00

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results

2010-07-21T13:17:00.000+10:00

The results of the last Wednesday What Is It?

Door Bolt!

Or door lock or something similar. I really don't even know the official name for one of these.

5 points to The Beachcomber!

2 points each to Plumeria Girl.

Ask me.

2010-07-20T17:05:00.003+10:00

"Ask me what I had for breakfast?"

Why? If you want to tell me what you had for breakfast just tell me.

No Good

2010-07-14T19:35:00.000+10:00

You know what I'm not good at? I haven't been very good at posting the WWII on time lately. I regret to inform you that I am unable to post it again this week. I'm so sorry, I really am.

Another thing I'm not good at? Formalities. The Mr.'s and the Ms.'s. The Dr.'s and the titles. The Honorables and the Chairpersons. I'm just not good at it. I think it has something to do with that whole 'all men are created equal' thing.

Have a nice night, my friends.

Backlogged

2010-07-09T00:53:00.009+10:00

Toy Story 3 - Loved it! Although there were a few times where I thought it was a little dark and oh my gosh the suspense. Oh and also, I almost cried at the end. For real! It was fun, it was colorful, it was funny, it was lively. Jacob was able to sit through the whole thing, but there were parts of the film that were clearly causing some anxiety in him. He's like me, not too much for suspense and horror. But unlike me, he's all about action and humor; I much prefer romance and humor. This movie has it all. Katelyn's favorite part is the "tortiza". It is clear that she is from Saipan, torilla + titiya = tortiya (tortiza).

Valentines Day - How should I describe this one? Hmmm. Let's see. Oh, wait, it's pretty easy: crap. Utter crap. Don't waste your time.
Tooth Fairy - To my surprise, it was a fun family movie. It had me laughing quite a bit.

Invictus - It was every bit as moving as the previews made it out to be! The only thing I would have improved was Morgan Freeman's accent. Matt Damon is amazing.

It's Complicated - Definitely a girly movie. A great one! Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep are so good together.

Alice in Wonderland - We're all friends here, right? I know it's more like a one-sided friendship where I tell you everything and you just make an occasional comment or two, but since we're friends, I must admit that I was not looking forward to watching this. I was a little afraid of it. And I was afraid that this movie would ruin my happy, non-Burtonified, non-creepy image of Wonderland. And I'm happy to say it didn't ruin it. In fact, I quite enjoyed the beauty of Wonderland, even the ravaged parts. I was going to tell you that I enjoyed this movie well enough - even with Anne Hathaway in it. Even with a somewhat underwhelming ending. I was going to tell you that . . . until I read a bunch of other reviews and realized that this movie was supposed to be a sequel, not a Burtonified re-telling of the original Disney movie. I think the story is sorely lacking as a sequel.

The Young Victoria - I quite enjoyed it. The sets were gorgeous. The costumes were gorgeous. I wanted it to keep going, I wanted some parts of the film to be longer, to give me more. The acting was great. And I enjoyed the history in the film.

Zathrua - It is a fun kids' movie. It's not the most amazing kids' movie, but it is fun. I liked Dax Shepard in this role.

Avatar - From all the hype, I was expecting my mind to be blown. Blown to smithereens! I'll tell you what Avatar is about in three words: modern day Pocahontas. Visually, it is awesome, the CG is amazing. The movie is exciting, it is sweet, romantic, fun, other-worldly. I'll tell you what it isn't, it isn't complicated and it didn't blow my mind. Perhaps my mind would have been blown if we could have seen it in 3D? Nah, doubt it.

Where the Wild Things Are - I am conflicted by this one. I had really high hopes. But I didn't even care enough to finish it. It's not that I was put off by it, I think I was just kind of bored. Maybe I just needed to be in the right mood?. Maybe this is a movie best viewed on the big screen? It is beautiful, it is artful, it is emotional, but it, it....here, this review by captelephant on IMDB pretty much sums up how I feel:

"Where the Wild Things are is a well written, intelligent, and very cold drama about the often challenging interactions within a closed group of people, the complexities of leadership and the cost of selfishness.

It's not a movie about imagination or childhood at all, and it's only vaguely concerned with themes of growing up, family or maturity.

It's not wacky or funny. Not colorful or exciting. There's only about 10 minutes of what I'd call "fun" in the whole 2-hour package.

That doesn't make Where the Wild Things Are a bad movie. It just makes it completely defiant of the viewer's expectations, and thus a rather confusing film to watch.

The first time I saw this I wasn't sure how I was supposed to be taking things. Was that supposed to be funny? Is she being sarcastic, or serious? Is Max in real danger now, or not? That's not because the movie is actually confusing, but because it all seems vaguely wrong and inappropriate. In the end I left scratching my head saying "I guess that was good?"

In the end I decided I didn't like it. I felt that this was either the wrong script for this movie or the wrong movie for this script. Either way, it didn't click for me and felt awkward to the end."

I Failed, Massively

2010-07-08T12:05:00.004+10:00

Want to see my massive fail? Go here. I was planning to use this set as a giveaway, but it isn't giveaway worthy. More like throwaway.

Have you visited my Etsy shop lately? Feel free to share it with your friends.

Sorry...

2010-07-07T20:17:00.003+10:00

Sorry guys, I can't post the WWII tonight. I'll try to post it tomorrow (Thursday) during my lunch break, but I'm not making any promises. Lunch time tomorrow on Saipan is something like 6-7pm on the west coast or 9-10pm on the east coast - on Wednesday. Right? I think so. I don't know. I have a terrible sense of time and direction. And also geography. Montana is like right in the middle of the country, right?