Am I lame?

My co-workers organized an office weight loss challenge and the first day was Wednesday. I decided not to join in the fun. You know, the fun that comes from starving yourself, from turning down your favorite most satisfying foods, the fun that comes with torturing yourself to work out even when you just plain feel like crud. My dear co-workers did not impose any kind of guilt trip on me, but I couldn't help but feel like the spoil sport, lowering the purse and shorting the fun by one office mate.

Before they decided on this fun little activity, which runs through June, by the way, I had already made up my mind to do something about my health. My health is not failing, but it's not on the honor roll either. I'm also too young to be feeling as many aches and pains as I feel, and I know they are directly related to my over abundance of excess poundage.

Am I lame for not joining the challenge? It is supposed to be a motivating activity. There is friendship and encouragement involved and of course money - the 1st and 2nd place winners, well losers really, will take home a percentage of the purse. Did I tell you when this ends? It ends in June. June is five months from now, in case you didn't know. I'm worried I won't make it to June if there is pressure attached to it. Especially since I decided I don't care and I'm not going to try and take my man-child off the boob until he turns three. Don't make that face at me. It will too happen. I'm already prepping the boy - he tells me, "I'm two so I susu, but when I turn three - bye bye susu".

I'm not going to do an official thing. And I'm not going to let you follow as closely as I did when I started my failed journey to Skinnyville. Forget Skinnyville. Forget pressure. The only pressure here is the pressure on the buttons of my pants from my fat belly.

By the way, NMC, who was it that read my blog and stole my idea?

Wednesday What Is It?

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results

The results of last week's Wednesday What Is It?

A shower poof! (pouf?)

Also acceptable: loofa, scrubbie, shower scrub

5 points to Courtney!
2 points each to Bon and Shar.

In My Head

Q: Have you ever wondered what thoughts fill my head all day? (If your answer is not affirmative in nature, please keep it to yourself.)

A: Mainly odd television and movie references that I bet most people don't remember. This week it has been songs from TV comedies which happen to either be or be related to SNL. If you can fill in the blanks from memory, then you are my soul sistah. And if you're a dude? Well, then we cool.


From the mastermind of Jimmy Fallon:

I can go down hill, on the icy snow.
Dressed ______________, where else ___________?
I'm only a man, on two ______________.
Instead of _____ I'm wearing ________.
I can't even tell if I'm winning the race,
Because ____ is ____ on my face.
It's not easy to ________________.

From the nonsense that only Tracy Morgan can pull off:

Rocket! I'm taking a rocket.
I'm __________________.
Hey, look out _______!

Yeah a rocket! Into outer space.
Goodbye __________.
I'll be there _____.

Blast off for fun and adventure.
Yes, I said adventure.
Collecting ______.

Oh it's my way!
On the ___________________.
That's why they all say,
There goes Astronaut Jones!

Even if those last two stumped you, I do hope you can name the singers of this little gem:

Talking it up! On the Barry Gibb talk show.
Talking 'bout chest hair.
Talking 'bout crazy cool medallions.

Did anyone else watch a pregnant Amy Adams sing Bust A Move with Jimmy Fallon? Good stuff.

And from the funniest show on earth (name the show): I'm a star! I'm on top! Somebody bring me some haaaaam!

(I'll try to find videos and post them later on.)

What did you say?

When I was in high school I would watch TV with the captions on. This was partly because I don't always hear so well and partly because I wanted to keep the volume low when I was watching those late night shows that were a bit mature. You know, like the Golden Girls. And also, I just plain preferred captions. Is that so wrong?

For the record, I did watch the Golden Girls almost every week night to help me fall asleep. At 11 p.m., I'd flip to the Lifetime network and watch the Golden Girls for an hour. There is something relaxing about the daily goings on of a ditsy old farm girl from St. Olef, a promiscuous older woman who refers to father as Big Daddy, and the somewhat masculine divorcee school teacher and her Sicilian mother all living under one roof in sunny Florida.

Immediately after the second episode I would change over to the local advertising channel and set my sleep timer. Why couldn't I leave it on Lifetime? I'll tell you why. Two words: Unsolved Mysteries. I wasn't going to fall asleep with that on in the background. My mom thought I was crazy, "there's nothing wrong with it, they're unsolved mysteries, what's scary about that?" Are you kidding? What's scary about that?! Everything! They're unsolved - as in crazy people out to get you are still on the loose! I can't even listen to the theme song without getting spooked.

James used to think I was nuts for preferring to turn on closed captions. Then we had kids. Now I can hardly get him to turn them off. In addition to being helpful, they occasionally provide comic relief. At times it's as if whoever was typing the captions fell behind and couldn't keep up with the fast paced dialogue: "HEDK WE NDHE BEEF NUTS SHRIMP". And sometimes it seems as if they just didn't understand what was really being said: "A BABOON FART". Yes, the lovely Christian Slater and his baboon fart.

Wednesday What Is It?

What is it?

Here's how to play.

Wednesday What Is It? Results

Wow. It's been a while.

The results of the last Wednesday What Is It?

Vertical Blinds!

5 points to Becky!
2 points to Plumeria Girl.

My hand is broken

My hand is broken.
Not really.
But there is something wrong with it.
It is freaking me out.
But I'm not going to the doctor.
I think I will live.

Also, it is Wednesday. I will be back.

It's not my fault

I had every intention of posting the next WWII this evening, but for some reason my internet is not working. This post is brought to you by my phone. I'm sorry. I will try to post it tomorrow.

A favor por favor. . . Dear bloggy friends, would you please do me a favor and check out my tutorial here: http://www.ayorata.com/2010/01/deeces-drawstring-gift-bag-tutorial.html then include a link in your next post and I'll enter you in the giveaway. Si Yu'us ma'ase.

More Than A Movie

Shorts - A fun kids movie. It was funny for me, but I think it's for kids who are older than my children. My kids really enjoyed it. It was never dull. But I think my kids are too young for the bullying aspects of the film. I think this is based on a book? I imagine the book would be a good read for a 10 year old.

500 Days of Summer - I liked it. It made me happy and sad, it made me laugh. I may have even shed a tear. The acting was great with realistic characters. In the opening of the film, the narrator tells us that this is not a love story. But really, it kind of is. It is certainly a story about love.

Julie & Julia - I enjoyed it. But with all the hype, I thought I was going to enjoy it more. I probably won't watch it again. I really liked the parts of the movie that were about Julia Child; I loved learning about her life. When James was in California last July, he and his brother passed by the red carpet premier of this movie and saw Meryl Streep, but you can't really see her in any of the pictures he took. Did you know that Julia Child received an honorary degree from Cal Poly Pomona?

Julie & Julia is a move based on a book based on a blog. Every so often I wonder what I'm doing with this blog - why am I blogging, who is reading me, and why, and do they even enjoy it, and will I disappoint them, and why am I worried about disappointing them? Is my blog utterly self-indulgent or does it actually benefit others? I've come to find out that, from time to time, it actually does benefit others. And it is self-indulgent. And so I continue.

I guess, with this movie, it wasn't the blogging that bugged me. It was the goal. It was the self-centered, life consuming goal. Julie wanted to cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook in one year. And so everything in her life became about that goal. Julie's blog documented her efforts and gave her an outlet, a way to work through the process and life. But the goal itself was taking over everything. Her mind. Her relationship. Her life. It just seemed so selfish. That's part of why I don't make goals - I don't want to disappoint myself if (when) I fail and I don't want to ruin the rest of my life in the process. I'm not saying goals are selfish and uncessary. They just aren't for me, and this movie shows why.

~~~

Katelyn's Christmas gift to her teacher:


Wrapped up in this:

Tutorial here.

No resolutions here

You already know that I'm not a fan of resolutions. But there's no reason why I can't try to make changes. There's no reason why I can't try to make better choices, or be more contentious in my decision making.

I will try to write more often.
I will try to update Ayorátá regularly.
I will try to post the WWII on time.

In life you'll find that the only things you can control are the choices you make. In 2010, I will try to make better choices.

I will choose to spend more quality time with my kids - dancing with them, reading with them, running with them, embracing them, teaching them.

I will try to make healthier choices. I will choose to spend more time with my God. I will choose the more difficult and tiring task if it means that my children will benefit. I will try to de-clutter. I will try not to speak in absolutes as often as I do now. Because I always never do that all the time.

I will try to be a better example. I will choose productivity. I will choose patience over frustration, praise over oppression, reason over force.

I can't promise anything. But I will try.

So here's the thing

Some wise guy decided it would be fun to send a bomb threat to NMC in the middle of the day. In the middle of the second day of Spring registration. A day when I was still sick. A day when I chose to wear long pants, a long sleeved blouse, and high heels.

The island has had other bomb threats. Thankfully, they all turned out to be hoaxes; like ours was today. But every threat like this has to be investigated for the safety of our students, employees, and community. I hope the FBI and the police are able to find the person who did this - who wasted a ton of government money and resources on his little prank.

At about 1:30 p.m., students and employees were evacuated from all the buildings. At first, we were sent to the hill by Galaxy. I walked up the grassy hill. Then down. In heels. Then we were told to go to the south side of campus. None of us knew where that was, but the police eventually shuffled us all over to the field by the gym. I walked there, over grass and pavement, in heels. Sweating in the wind, while sick.

I snapped this picture on my way to the south side. He doesn't look too pleased with me does he? I just wanted a picture of the dogs.


I sat with my coworkers in the bus stop on the corner of the field.


We saw a lot of this:


It started to rain just before 3:00 p.m., so we were told to go wait in the gym. Me? Walk another hundred feet to the gym? In the rain? On the grass? In heels?


I don't think so. And thanks to Mona's sister and her car, I didn't have to. About five minutes into our stay at the gym and we were given the all clear. (Yes, I totally bummed a ride off her again.)

Why do people do these dumb things? And with half the law enforcement personnel at the college and the other half tending to the executive and legislative inaugural proceedings, who was looking after the island? Did some kind of smuggling or robbery take place during this malarky?

I've been in emergency/fire drills from kindergarten through college, but this was the first time I had to actually execute emergency procedures (other than running outside because of an earthquake). But it was also the first time that I was unaware of what the emergency procedures were.

So here's the thing...

...don't be a douche and send in fake bomb threats...

...don't change out of your office slippers and into your heels when you're told to evacuate, just grab your purse and go...

...know your organization's emergency plans.

Thank you to our police, FBI, and all other law enforcement/rescue personnel for their quick response and assistance.

Interrupted

Work was interrupted. "We need to evacuate."

I am at the bus stop at the corner. You'll probably hear about it on Facebook before I get the chance to blog it later. If I were cooler I'd know how to upload the pictures right now from my phone. But I'm not that cool.

Stay classy Saipan. And safe.

Buggin Out

I'm bugging out because I'm sick. Again. I'm so sick of this. What is wrong with me that I'm always sick? Am I sickly person now? Am I ever going to have more than one week sick-free? I know I'm not, but I feel like I'm a dirty person because I just keep getting sick. Only unsanitary people get sick this often, right? Any advice? Do I need to start taking echinacea? St. John's Wort? What? Help!

I'm also bugging out because of the freaking bugs everywhere!

On Saturday I killed a daddy long leg spider. That was an amazing feat on my part. I only did it because my kids were around and I'm trying really hard not to project my fears onto them. But if I could have had it my way, I would have just stood there watching it while I yelled for James or any other human near by to come and rescue me. I threw a paper towel on top of it and smashed the paper towel with Jacob's plastic golf club. But the even more amazing part was that I didn't just leave the paper towel there, I actually picked it up and threw it away, spider and all. Ew! Gave me the shivers.

On Sunday, as I picked up the broom to sweep our front porch, a grasshopper hopped in my face and as I hopped up in a panic, my heel lifted from my zorri and the grasshopper tried to commit suicide by throwing itself under my heel. Gross!

There are rollie pollies everywhere! I'm so sick of them. I'm sick of them crawling around my house. I'm sick of finding dead ones in the corner. I'm sick of having to find cardboard to slide them onto so I can throw them outside. I'm sick of sweeping them off the porch. I'm sick of rollie pollies!

A brown gecko attacked me as we were driving to work on Monday morning. Good thing I wasn't driving. And good thing it wasn't a spider. Because if if it was a spider, I would have jumped out of the moving vehicle. I am not even joking.

Yesterday at work, as I sorted through a stack of papers I discovered a dead bee lying on one of the pages that was sticking out of the bottom of the stack. It was pretty disgusting. It became even more disgusting when I realized that it must have been the bee that was flying around the office about a month ago. My coworker probably injured it when she batted it away from her with a small yellow notepad. I think it made its way over to my desk to die. So I pulled the trashcan over to sit under the edge of my desk. And I did my best not to look at what I was doing when I pulled the stack of papers to the edge of my tabletop and shook them to drop the dead bee in the trash can. It left yellow spots on the page where it died. Disgusting!

I'm sick of being sick. And I'm sick of all the bugs. I need a vacation. A sick-free, bug-free vacation full of laughter and hugs and family.

I'm late!

(No, I'm not pregnant. I'm just late in writing my first post of 2010.)

Happy new year everyone! I hope your holidays were filled with love and laughter.

We had dinner at the 360 to celebrate my wonderful husband's birthday last Friday.


We watched the amazing new year's (not a true) blue moon rise above the eastern ridge. It was a spectacular sight.


This was the view from the parking lot just before we headed home. The streetlamp takes away from the brilliant moon shining just above it. But I still think the photo is pretty cool.


Our table was near the couch; it was a great spot. See the people on the other side? They were celebrating a birthday too. So was the table on the other side of us. Three new year's day birthday celebrants all in a row - how cool is that?


As the restaurant turned, our sights moved away from the stunning moon and we saw fireworks! It was the perfect night to be at the 360.


We ended the night with cake at home. But not until after the kids finished off the ice cream cake that the lovely ladies at the 360 brought James for his birthday.


Welcome to 2010!